The five characteristics of a successful mentee

- Let's begin by reflecting. How do you define career success? What popped into your mind? Money, promotions, enjoying good relationships? Feeling satisfied or making an impact? The good news is that definitive research shows that having a mentor can help you achieve all of these. So how can you actually be successful as a mentee? My research on mentoring has identified five characteristics of being a successful mentee. The first characteristic is trustworthiness. In the words of proteges and mentors I've interviewed in the past, as mentioned in my book, "Power Mentoring," trust is about secret stuff, sacred stuff, and locker-room bonding. It is about being vulnerable and real. I interviewed the former U.S. Treasurer, Rosario Marin, and she articulated the idea that trust is built when you know enough about another person to inflict damage, but you never do it. So let me put these ideas into behaviors. Consider using self-disclosure with your mentor and telling them something about you that is personal and might show that you are not perfect. In addition, when your mentor reciprocates, guard this information with your life. Second, successful mentees are confident. If you are concerned that you are not confident, let me reassure you that many successful people struggle with confidence. You don't need to be completely confident all the time about all aspects of your life. After all, many of us seek out mentors in order to boost our confidence. However, you do need to be confident in the sense that you believe you are worthy of being mentored. One way to boost your confidence is to consider your strengths and build your awareness about what you are good at. The Strengths Finder is a great tool for this. Third, successful mentees add value to their mentor's life. This might be simply sharing a skill with their mentor that the mentor is missing. For example, I have a protege who asked me to help her design a training exercise for her company. I said, "Let's brainstorm over happy hour, "if, in exchange, "you can show me how I can impress my teenager "with my Snapchat skills." The fourth important characteristic is appreciation. Take a moment and do this exercise. Think about all the roles you play in your life. Employee, spouse, parent, sibling, daughter, son, lacrosse coach, and the list goes on. You do a lot. Now, raise your hand high if you feel like you get enough appreciation for all you do. When I ask people this question in workshops, for most of us, our hands are down here. So here's an easy secret to being a successful mentee. Show your mentor appreciation. Your mentor probably does not get enough appreciation, and this will really help to connect you. Here's a list of ways you can show appreciation. Nominate your mentor for an award. Bring your mentor a small gift or token you think they might like. Endorse them on LinkedIn. Write them a note saying you appreciate them. It really does not matter what you do, but do something and do it regularly. Finally, bring your positive energy to your mentor. Research by Stephanie Johnson shows that energy and emotions are contagious. One of my tests of whether a mentoring relationship is going to last is the energy test. I had a protege this past semester who was always scheduled last on my very long teaching day. Even though I was wiped out by the time I saw her, she always lifted me up with her fresh ideas, enthusiasm, or just by letting me vent. Because of her energy, this protege is a keeper for sure. Remember, being successful as a mentee is not about being perfect. It's about paying attention to these five characteristics that you can easily incorporate as you go forward in a relationship with a mentor.