Tour Ft. Knox, the world's second biggest distraction (just behind Area-51)

You bet there's gold in Ft. Knox! Everybody knows that. Little Johnny down the street knows that! Tibetan monks in Mongolia know that. Your little sister knows that! Every intelligence agency worth a dime has proven it to themselves over and over and over.

And it's the biggest honking fraud in planetary history! Muahahaha! All y'all been fools since the 50s! And aliens! At some dusty airport in the middle of Nevada that hasn't been used in decades? Jumpin’ Jahosafat! it's been like stealing candy from a baby! We just fly those folks in from 'Vegas every morning. Treat them to the standard meal-with-a-threat moment, and ship'em back. Nobody's the wiser!

Never in a million years has anyone guessed that the gold is actually stored in a 127-story vault beneath the Millennium Tower in San Francisco (you didn't think it's sinking because it's unstable did you? Gold's heavy!) It's guarded like Ft. Knox in a way that makes Ft. Knox look like my baby girl's Barbie House of Hugs.

Yeah! So, let those villians steal that petty amount of gold. Good on 'em! Gives the superheros something to do (we don't want nothing to do with 'em anyway... prima donna little putzs). We usually get most of it back, anyway.

I mean, c'mon! You've never noticed that the price of gold doesn't fluctuate when Dr. Cyclops boosts the decoy? Inspector Clouseau couldn't miss that hint!

Tour Ft. Knox, the world's second-biggest distraction (just behind Area-51)

You bet there's gold in Ft. Knox! Everybody knows that. Little Johnny down the street knows that! Tibetan monks in Mongolia know that. Your little sister knows that! Every intelligence agency worth a dime has proven it to themselves over and over and over.

And it's the biggest honking fraud in planetary history! Muahahaha! All y'all been fools since the 50s! And aliens! At some dusty airport in the middle of Nevada that hasn't been used in decades? Jumpin’ Jahosafat! it's been like stealing candy from a baby! We just fly those folks in from 'Vegas every morning. Treat them to the standard meal-with-a-threat moment, and ship 'em back. Nobody's the wiser!

Never in a million years has anyone guessed that the gold is actually stored in a 127-story vault beneath the Millennium Tower in San Francisco (you didn't think it's sinking because it's unstable did you? Gold's heavy!) It's guarded like Ft. Knox in a way that makes Ft. Knox look like my baby girl's Barbie House of Hugs.

Yeah! So, let those villains steal that petty amount of gold. Good on 'em! Gives the superheroes something to do (we don't want nothing to do with 'em anyway... prima donna little putzs). We usually get most of it back, anyway.

I mean, c'mon! You've never noticed that the price of gold doesn't fluctuate when Dr. Cyclops boosts the decoy? Inspector Clouseau couldn't miss that hint!

Tour Ft. Knox, the world's second biggest distraction (just behind Area-51)

You bet there's gold in Ft. Knox! Everybody knows that. Little Johnny down the street knows that! Tibetian monks in Mongolia know that. Your little sister knows that! Every intelligence angency worth a dime has proven it to themselves over and over and over.

And it's the biggest honking fraud in planetary history! Muahahaha! All y'all been fools since the 50s! And aliens! At some dusty airport in the middle of Nevada that hasn't been used in decades? Jumpin’ Jahosafat! it's been like stealing candy from a baby! We just fly those folks in from 'Vegas every morning. Treat them to the standard meal-with-a-threat moment, and ship'em back. Nobody's the wiser!

Never in a million years has anyone guessed that the gold is actually stored in a 127-story vault beneath the Millennium Tower in San Francisco (you didn't think it's sinking because it's unstable did you? Gold's heavy!) It's guarded like Ft. Knox in a way that makes Ft. Knox look like my baby girl's Barbie House of Hugs.

Yeah! So, let those villians steal that petty amount of gold. Good on 'em! Gives the superheros something to do (we don't want nothing to do with 'em anyway... prima donna little putzs). We usually get most of it back, anyway.

I mean, c'mon! You've never noticed that the price of gold doesn't fluctuate when Dr. Cyclops boosts the decoy? Inspector Clouseau couldn't miss that hint!

Tour Ft. Knox, the world's second biggest distraction (just behind Area-51)

You bet there's gold in Ft. Knox! Everybody knows that. Little Johnny down the street knows that! Tibetan monks in Mongolia know that. Your little sister knows that! Every intelligence agency worth a dime has proven it to themselves over and over and over.

And it's the biggest honking fraud in planetary history! Muahahaha! All y'all been fools since the 50s! And aliens! At some dusty airport in the middle of Nevada that hasn't been used in decades? Jumpin’ Jahosafat! it's been like stealing candy from a baby! We just fly those folks in from 'Vegas every morning. Treat them to the standard meal-with-a-threat moment, and ship'em back. Nobody's the wiser!

Never in a million years has anyone guessed that the gold is actually stored in a 127-story vault beneath the Millennium Tower in San Francisco (you didn't think it's sinking because it's unstable did you? Gold's heavy!) It's guarded like Ft. Knox in a way that makes Ft. Knox look like my baby girl's Barbie House of Hugs.

Yeah! So, let those villians steal that petty amount of gold. Good on 'em! Gives the superheros something to do (we don't want nothing to do with 'em anyway... prima donna little putzs). We usually get most of it back, anyway.

I mean, c'mon! You've never noticed that the price of gold doesn't fluctuate when Dr. Cyclops boosts the decoy? Inspector Clouseau couldn't miss that hint!