Tweets
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@herbheartlady pics or it didn't happen! -
Sure icons and buzzwords seem cool, but if I spend more than 10 min on your website & still don't know what you do, you're doing it wrong.
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@isamlambert Story of my life. -
@vinbarnes or a stranger shitting in my laundry room. -
That awkward moment when you brave walking naked to the laundry room & there's a guy letting his dog shit in your front yard.
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I burnt Emerson's breakfast, but I've got eggnog for coffee creamer. Looks like the morning is a draw.
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@charlestieszen He is, which is entirely unfair. -
@charlestieszen a bottle a night, give or take? -
Bought everything to make pizza except cheese...
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Six bottles of wine should see me through a week of single parenting, right?
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@michaeltwofish nope, but a meme has been born. /remember@shiftkey's nose pic.twitter.com/u09NlAQExS -
TIL that
@shiftkey doesn't have an Australian's nose...or so said the guy that just insulted him at this bar. -
@herbheartlady nah. Yolo. -
Basically, I can always count on
@houstonshearon to make my day. pic.twitter.com/svWaAU1B0q
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When did dialogue become a bad idea?
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@nrrrdcore you come to Texas and you don't come see meeeeeee? 😹 -
"Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free."
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@fabrahamlincoln We better. -
@fabrahamlincoln why haven't we gone there?!!!
Kelly Shearon
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