Aligned Builders

You don’t need another podcast. You need a different environment. It’s amazing how fast your energy can shift when you actually step away from everything for a minute. The last little while I’ve been sitting with some heavier pieces, stuff most guys don’t talk about. Shame, that constant pull to belong, relationships changing. You can feel it in your body when you’re in it. It lingers. It’s not something you just “shake off” by staying busy. So instead of pushing through it, I’ve been doing something different. I’ve been getting out into nature every day. Just being there. It’s crazy what happens when you give yourself that space. The mind slows down. Your body starts to open. That clarity you’ve been trying to force just shows up on its own. I think a lot of us are stuck because they never actually step out of our environment long enough to hear ourselves. It’s just wake up, work, scroll, repeat. No intention behind anything. No space to process. And over time, you drift further away from who you actually are without even realizing it. That’s something we're changing this summer. And honestly, if you’ve been feeling even a bit off lately, this is for you too. This isn't another program. Or another course. It's real world experiences. Getting out into nature. Challenging ourselves. Building capacity. Being around other men who are actually doing the work, not just talking about it. Some of it will be simple. River dips, breathwork, hikes, real conversations. Some of it will push you. Longer trails, tougher environments, deeper work. And some of it will be full send. Things like Foam Fest, and working up to trips like the Juan de Fuca Trail. This is about brotherhood. Getting uncomfortable on purpose. Coming back to yourself in a real way. We’re kicking this off this Saturday. Small group. Nothing overcomplicated. Just the first step. If you’ve been feeling off, heavy, disconnected, you’ll know if this is something you need. Message me or drop “IN” below and I’ll reach out. What's stopping you form stepping out of your normal life for a bit, to see what happens when you actually challenge yourself again?

I used to think I had ‘bad luck’ with women, until I saw the pattern. I’m going to tell you how it is, brother, you don’t pick randomly. I know it feels like you do. Different women, different personalities, different situations. But if you really slow down and look at it honestly, it’s the same feeling underneath. The same tension shows up. Arguments. Just a different face. That’s the part most of us guys miss. It’s not your “type.” It’s your nervous system. Your body is wired to recognize what’s familiar, and it will pull you toward that every single time, even if it’s not good for you. Especially if it’s not good for you. If you grew up around chaos, unpredictability, or emotional highs and lows, then calm isn’t going to feel natural. It might actually feel uncomfortable. Boring, even. Like something’s missing. So when you meet someone who’s grounded, consistent, and steady, there’s a part of you that pulls back without even realizing it. But when there’s tension, a bit of emotional intensity, some push and pull, something in you leans in. Not because it’s healthy. Because it’s familiar. So you try again. New woman, new energy, new intentions. You tell yourself this time will be different. But the pattern is still running underneath everything, so it plays out the same way. And this is where the work actually starts. Not by trying to fix her, and not by shutting yourself down, but by getting honest about what you’re drawn to. Pay attention to what your body reacts to. Notice what feels exciting, and ask yourself why that is. Then slow it down. Most men move fast when it “feels right.” But sometimes “feels right” just means it feels familiar. And familiar is exactly what’s been keeping you stuck. The real shift is learning how to sit in calm. Letting something be steady without needing to create a high, solve a problem, or brace for something to go wrong. That’s the part that rewires you. At some point, you’ve got to make a decision. Do you want what feels familiar, or do you want what’s actually good for you? Because my man those are usually two very different things. Reality Check!!! You’re not dating new women. You’re dating new versions of the same pattern. So I’ll leave you with this, does your peace actually feel safe to you right now, or does it feel like something’s missing?

Most guys wait until they’re completely off track before they check themselves. But by then, you’re already in it. The stress is higher, the patterns are deeper, and it takes more to pull yourself back. Midweek is where that gets fixed. Not by doing more, but by stopping for a minute and actually looking at where you’re at. I’ve been building this into my routine, and it’s simple. Somewhere in the middle of the week, no distractions, no phone, you take 10 minutes and run a quick check-in. You look at where you actually showed up the way you said you would, where you didn’t, and what’s been pulling your attention or energy off course. Not in a way where you beat yourself up, just being honest about it. Then you reset. What actually matters for the rest of this week? What needs to tighten up? What are you cutting out so you can stay focused? That small pause does more than most people realize. It brings you back into alignment before things start compounding in the wrong direction. Because if you don’t check in, you drift. And most guys don’t even notice it happening. If you want something simple to use, try this: Take 10 minutes today and ask yourself: Where did I actually show up this week? Where didn’t I? What needs to change? That’s it. Do that consistently, and you stop reacting to your life, and start leading it. If nothing changed between now and Sunday, would you be good with how this week ends?

“I don’t feel anything anymore.” If that’s crossed your mind, read this. I’ve had a lot of conversations with guys who say the same thing, “I don’t really feel much.” “I’m kind of just, numb.” “I don’t get emotional like that.” And for a long time, I understood that. Because I’ve been there too. You go through enough in life, pressure, stress, things you don’t process, things you push past, and without even realizing it, you start turning the volume down on everything. Not just the heavy stuff. Everything. Here’s the part no one talks about, when you shut down those emotions, you don’t just lose the hard ones. You lose access to all of it. Drive. Connection. Clarity. And even joy start to slip away. And then it starts to show up in ways most men don’t connect the dots to. You feel off, but can’t explain it. There's a disconnect in your relationships. You’re going through the motions, but nothing really hits. So you tell yourself you just need to push harder. But let me tell you that’s never the fix. Because this isn’t about effort, it’s about what you’ve been avoiding. Most men weren’t taught how to process what they feel. So they learned how to suppress it instead. And over time, that becomes your normal. You don’t even realize how much you’ve shut down. That part of you didn’t disappear. It’s still there. It’s just buried under everything you never gave yourself space to feel. And until you start creating space for that again, you’ll keep feeling like something’s missing. What have you been avoiding feeling, that’s still sitting underneath everything?

If your energy feels off, you’re probably missing 1 of these 4 steps. Discipline, discipline, discipline, that's what a lot of coaches like to drill into your head. Wake up early. Get after it. Stay consistent. Yes, it works for a while. But the last couple weeks reminded me of something deeper. When my energy dropped and I started sleeping in more, my routine didn’t just disappear, I drifted away from myself. Old me would’ve tried to force it back. Push harder. Override it. Now I do it differently. I listen first, then I rebuild. Because a real morning routine isn’t about rigid structure. It’s about creating a return point for yourself. So if you’ve been feeling off lately, here’s the simple framework I come back to. My4-Part Morning Reset 1. Wake Up Honestly - Don’t lie to yourself about where you’re at. - Are you tired? Heavy? Clear? Avoiding something? - Before you grab your phone or jump into the day, just check in. - Most men skip this and carry unconscious energy straight into everything. 2. Regulate Before You Perform - Your nervous system sets the tone, not your to-do list. - Even 2–5 minutes of breathwork, or stillness can shift everything. - If you skip this step, you don’t run your day, your state does. 3. Move Your Body - This isn’t about a full workout. - It’s about signaling to your body: we’re online. - Stretch. Walk. Push-ups. Cold water. Anything. - Momentum starts physically, not mentally. 4. Choose Your Direction - Most guys react to their day. - Instead, ask one simple question: “What actually matters today?” - Pick 1–3 things. Lock in. Move with intention. That’s it. Nothing fancy. Nothing complicated. But when you do this consistently, you stop drifting. You come back to yourself faster. And that’s the real win. Because life isn’t about never falling off, it’s about how quickly you can return. PS: Which one of these are you skipping right now, the check-in, the regulation, the movement, or the direction?

I’ve been doing this personal healing work for 20 years now. And even still, there are moments where something heavy comes up that takes me deeper than I expected. Lately that’s been happening more. Not in a bad way, just in a way that shows me there are still layers here. Old pieces. Old patterns. Things that don’t fully surface until life puts you in the right moment. What’s different now is I don’t try to get away from it. I don’t distract, or push through it. I learned how to stay, slow things down, feel where it sits in my body, and use my breath to create space instead of reacting to it. That’s really the shift. Not trying to get rid of what I feel, but learning how to move through it without letting it take over. I wanted to share this because I know a lot of men think once you’ve “done the work,” these things stop showing up. They don’t. You just learn how to meet them differently. This video is just a look into how I’ve been moving through that lately.

The way you experience love today, was shaped before you even knew what love was. I want to run something by you, because this is something I didn’t understand for a long time. A lot of what you’re experiencing in your relationships today didn’t start in your relationships. It started way earlier. I’m talking about those first few years of your life, before you even had words for what you were feeling. Somewhere between 0–3, your system was already learning what love felt like. Not logically, just through experience. Was it consistent? Was it safe? Did it feel like something you could relax into, or something you had to reach for? And here’s the part most men never really look at. If love felt distant, inconsistent, or conditional back then, your system doesn’t just forget that. It adapts to it. So now, as a grown man, you might notice certain things in your relationships that don’t fully make sense. Sometimes connection feels off, you pull away when things get deeper. It feels like you have to earn love, or prove yourself to keep it and sometimes you completely self sabotage. And it’s easy to think, “that’s just how I am.” But it’s not. It’s a pattern your system learned a long time ago. People call it the “mother wound,” but it’s not about blame. It’s just about understanding where your relationship to closeness and love was shaped. I’ve had to look at this in my own life. That moment where things start getting real, and something in your body tightens, like part of you wants connection, and another part wants to create distance. That’s the work. Not forcing yourself to be different, but learning how to stay in those moments instead of reacting to them. 1. Slowing down. 2. Noticing what’s happening in your body. 3. Letting yourself receive without feeling like you need to earn it. It’s simple, but not easy. Because real connection doesn’t come from trying harder. It comes from becoming someone who can actually stay open when it matters. P.S. When things start to get close in a relationship, what does your body want to do?

This Easter has me sitting in a place of reflection. The last couple of weeks I’ve really slowed things down and just taken the time to look back, not just at the business, but at myself and the journey as a whole. It’s been one of those moments where you just sit there and take it all in. Because when I look at where I’m at today, both personally and with Sapphire Glass & Developments, I can see how every part of the path played a role in getting me here. The ups, the downs, the unexpected turns, the things that worked and the things that didn’t. Some of the lessons were easy to take in. Some of them I felt like I wanted to jump off a bridge, lol. But all of them were necessary. And that’s the part that really stood out to me. Everything, the challenges, the pressure, the growth, it's all guiding you to exactly where you need to be. Sitting here now, I feel a level of clarity and alignment that I haven’t felt before. Focused, grounded, and more intentional in how I show up. And more than anything, just a real sense of gratitude for the whole journey. Because when you step back and really look at it, even the hard parts had a purpose. So today, I’m just taking a moment to appreciate all of it. Happy Easter. I hope today gives you a chance to slow down a bit, spend time with the people that matter most, and take in how far you’ve come in your own way. Wishing you a beautiful day filled with love, joy, and family.

100% of men are carrying versions of themselves they’ve never actually faced. There’s a moment that happens when you start going deeper into this work, and it’s not something many people talk about. You realize you’re not just sitting with the man you are today. You’re sitting with every version of yourself that got you here. The child. The teenager. The younger man who didn’t know what to do with what he was feeling. Those parts don’t disappear. They stay with you, shaping how you react, how you cope, and why certain things still hit as hard as they do. The other night I was in meditation, working through breath and just sitting with what came up. And it was all there, anger, shame, guilt, grief. Not in a chaotic way, just present, waiting to be felt. For a long time, I would’ve avoided that. Distracted myself. Found a way out of it. This time I stayed. And something shifted. What opened on the other side wasn’t more weight, it was understanding. A sense of compassion for those versions of me that were just trying to figure it out the best they could. That’s the part people miss. This work is hard. It asks you to be honest in ways most men were never taught. It asks you to sit in discomfort without running. But what’s on the other side of that is powerful. There’s a lightness that comes from finally facing what you’ve been carrying. A deeper connection to yourself. A different way of moving through life. If you’re in that place right now, or even just starting to feel that something needs to change, you don’t need to have it all figured out. I didn’t. I just took a step, and kept showing up. Over time, things started to shift. Not all at once, but enough to become someone who can actually hold what life brings. Still learning. Still working. Still growing. But moving forward, one step at a time. P.S. If you slowed down long enough to listen, what would a younger version of you want you to feel instead of avoid?

There’s a 3-second window where everything can change. Most men miss it. I used to be the guy who couldn’t pause in an argument. Something small would happen, a tone, a comment, and I’d feel it instantly. Chest tight, mind racing, already reacting before I even had a second to think. And in the moment, it always felt justified. But afterward, it never felt right. There was always that crash. That regret. That feeling of “why do I keep doing this?” Especially when it was with someone I actually cared about. What I’ve learned since is this isn’t really an anger issue. It’s a pattern. Most men are running unconscious reaction loops built years ago. Trigger → activation → reaction. And by the time you notice it, it’s already happened. Your nervous system has taken over and it’s just doing what it’s been trained to do. That’s why saying “just calm down” doesn’t work. Because in that moment, your system isn’t looking for calm, it’s trying to stay in what’s familiar. Even if that familiar state is costing you your relationship and your self-respect. So the work isn’t about suppressing it. It’s about interrupting the pattern. That’s the shift. Inside the Pattern Breaker Playbook, I walk through the exact tool I use, the 5-4-8 breath pattern. Not to relax, but to disrupt your state in real time so you can create space between what you feel and what you do. And that space is where you get your power back. If you’ve been stuck in that loop, react, regret, repeat, this is where you start. It’s simple. Practical. And it works. If you want it, it’s in my featured section. Or comment “BREAK” and I’ll send it over.