Sometimes intros go through, sometimes they do not. A number of people I’ve connected with me and said they never saw the intro and they even knew exactly where to look for intros. I have had the same experience also. I have been an unpaid member, and then tried being a paid member. There are multiple levels of paid membership which can be confusing. I’m back to being an unpaid member because even as a paid member it’s not working all that well for me. My partner has posted pictures within writing prompts and they do not show up to anyone else, although they do appear in her profile when she looks at it. She has reported this to tech-support and they did nothing about it. I do greatly appreciate the fact that OKC supports non-monogamous dating. And the very detailed questions and answers. A lot of the questions are worded in such a way though that it is difficult to answer them because the questions are vague or potentially confusing like they could be interpreted in completely opposite ways sometimes. And more of them need an intermediate choice instead of just yes or no. Finally, a strange behavior I noticed when we started new profiles not long ago, without any indication of this, the app assumes a person would reject every answer that differs from yours. You have to go back through and review all your answers and the answers you would accept, in order to change this.

I’ve tried a couple of other dating sites that were really disappointing. One of them matched me with smokers even though I said he was required to be a non-smoker. Another matched me with people out of state! This site gives you the chance to answer many questions, although you can skip or make an answer private. There is a percentage score that is fairly close to being accurate, and with the basics and the questions, it’s pretty easy to see if that person is someone you’d be interested in meeting. It did match me with a few occasional smokers, but that was listed in the basics, so it’s easy to x those out. I’d say 90% of my matches are within a 2-hour drive, 75% within an hour, and 60% within a half hour. All the questions have you make your answer, list acceptable answers from your potential match, have a qualifier on how much that matters to you (a little, somewhat, or very important), and an optional comment box so that you can explain your answer or give your real answer if it was listed in the given answers. It uses some formula to give a percentage match, which is fairly accurate, but you should still read over your match’s answers in case the percentage didn’t cover something well enough that was extremely important to you. Then you can “like” the person and send them a message. If someone sends you a message, you can “like” them back and reply. You can’t reply if you don’t like them back though. I would prefer to thank them for the like and let them know they lived to far away or something rather than just x-ing them out, but that’s not an option. I know at least one person who found their spouse on this site, and they’ve been happily married for several years.

What’s annoying about OkCupid now is the people disappear and you can never find them again. If you touch your phone by mistake or in the wrong way you delete your view of an option forever. When I am thinking about whether I want to swipe right or left, I have to make an on the spot decision even if the person doesn’t seem quite right for now if I don’t say yes I will never see them again. If I do say yes and they don’t seem quite right where there are other people I want to connect with for that I have to explain myself when they respond. I’ve also gotten way too many men, tons of trends, a straight woman not looking for a relationships and a number of very off-the-wall people. The real people seem few and far between. I get many out-of-state people, some two hours or more away which would mean a four hour commute. Why ask me what I’m interested in and then show me people I have nothing in common with. If you’re heterosexual there may be many options so if you missed a few it may not matter, but if you have a few decent options and you miss A number of them you’re fine you don’t have any options at all. Could you have a maybe category where it will give you Time to think about it and get back to somebody. Also unless I have ruled out a person I would like to be able to find them again. You Used to be able to look them up or review who’s in your area, now you only get one look at a person and they’re gone unless you write to them. Maybe your circumstances have changed and that person is appropriate to you.

I have used many dating apps, none of them has turned into a marriage. I haven’t been back to this app in more than 4 years, but whenever people ask me where I met my husband, I was proud to recommend them OkCupid. I can’t imagine how people are dating now with Covid going on. But dating is a hard and brutal game. You gotta know yourself before anything else. I can't believe what a team we are and how we worked out, considering we were born in the opposite side of the globe, grew up in completely different culture and with 9 years of age difference. We had 91% compatibility on OkCupid. Our life goals align, but we are so different in many ways which make things interesting. We can talk to each other about anything, yet laughing at each other as some of the things we do are so “foreign” to each other, but then we realize that we indeed want the same thing, just have a different process. In today’s day and age, it’s so easy to get distracted. While we hold some principles tightly to our hearts, we also need to be patient and give people a chance to express themselves, and most importantly, listen and try to find that common ground. You never know who’ll surprise you and sweep you off your feet. Happy dating everyone. May we all find our soulmates.